Intern year is full of ups and downs; most news docs going through the grind will tell you the same. Some days I’m flying sky high and others I’m getting back to the drawing board to work on fundamentals like Charles Barkley in Space Jam. No matter what I do I always try to exude an air of professionalism; some concoction of calmness, engagement, and intellectual curiosity. At least that’s what I imagine in my head. Most of the time it’s a swirling tornado of alter egos that are fighting to take the top seat. One part George Clooney, five parts JD, and a dash of tazmanian devil. Here’s who I cycle through from the moment I step in to when I leave:


6AM waking up: Dr. Kelso

The screaming alarm clock pierces an otherwise tranquil bedroom. Underneath several warmth-encasing blankets and a bunch of soft mashed together pillows lays a body. That’s me, eyes wide open staring blearily into the blue glow of my LED alarm clock. I really just wanna go back to sleep.

7AM ready to go: Turk 

Alright. Caffeine and glucose levels have been optimized for the morning pre-round sprint. I’m feeling good. This is what it’s all about, time to save some lives. Can’t stop won’t stop.  Definitely making it to the gym after work. 

7:05 AM, shortly after arriving into the hospital: Dr Yang 

HE DID WHAT WITH HIS IV LINE?!
WHY IS HIS GLUCOSE SO LOW?!
THERE’S BLOOD COMING OUT OF WHERE?!
DID I LEAVE MY PAGER IN THE BATHROOM?
OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO PAY RENT

7:30 AM: 

12PM after rounds and having a team plan established: Dr House 

“Well if you consider both the underlying nature of the disease coupled with the cosmos of the universe multiplied by the 7th dimension you would realize that this patient needs to be on coumadin. Thanks, page me with questions”. 

3:30 PM after a couple hours in the team room: Dr. Freeze

“Why.must.it.be.so.cold”

5PM when my parents ask me how the day went: Dr. Ross

“No big deal, just another day. Think I’m going to watch some Netflix and go to bed early. 

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